space

When all is said and done some ish is for the birds...

There is just no way to keep up with the rolling times, if all is good and well then things go up in flames but when it's bad it's good. Ok, so maybe i'm talking gibberrish trying to prove that this apple right here is actually purple instead of green .... urgh.
 why must growing pains be so randomly right and how come the lessons have to come at a priceless price nje?
this is just on some other realness God damn...

The misguiding of our social times is proving that my soul is ancient...
Dear God
Please let me know if this is true cause i swear yesterday feels like this eternal forest i once lived in where all is as it seems. This other daily fuckery is just not right.

We are living in a time where we refuse to recognise nor love our neighbours yet we push the biblical ideologies as if we stay true to them on the real. We have forgotten how to live according to natural laws and to respect life itself. When we love it's conditional, we let the rules govern the feelings instead of being moved by the feelings to rule.

I read a book by one of my favourite writers where in the beginning she quotes Charles Dickens in A Tale of Two Cities :  "It is the worst of times. It is the best of times."  
The book was:

"We Are The Ones We've Been Waiting For by Alice Walker

There is wisdom in written and spoken texts, how we word our statements and texts as well as how well we choose to listen, hear and process that which we receive is what sets us apart, it is also that which leads us not into our own journey of self discovery or rather that which moves us forward in it. How we perceive things dictates that which will be in our world... sometimes we are just unwilling to read or listen because we think we already know.  

Albert Einstein once said: "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

visible invisible

sometime i see your souls
even when i dont want to look
I see and feel the darkness in your light
that you don't see
as darkness stepping into light
covered in shadows of dark tremors
gyrating an inch at a time
closer
 to covering the light.
The day sweeps in beckoning
ushering in glory
yet no one hears
the voices scream:
That right there is steeped
In darkness,
it seeks to diminish your light...
Raging seas of battles fought in darkness
saunter,
asking:
who is this that braves to weather the storms
Is that a steady light beaming?
There's a fight brewing
as light continues
 to seek
 to conquer
 to be
brightest
even at the seemingly hopelessness
 of engulfing  darkness
she dares to live,
born,
for this awkward battle
driven by hope in trust
willing,
living,
even at the very edge
of doom
light illuminates love

Stranger than fiction realities

So we have come or are coming full circle.

The Black man runs away from their calling and White people embrace ubungoma or ubugqirha or shamanism... kanti,what kind of new age fuckery is this? No, not that they embrace our Ancient ways but that we seek to be so far from our true intrinsic selves. We proudly call out our clan names yet all  the truths of who we are and what we know is true is cast away...

Kanti thina singobani na?

Please note I found this picture through the web but it made me think and I wanted to share it with you.

silently loud

we are bound

by those things which

the eye can not see

yet the soul feels

beyond the measure

of a sea

walk tall bound by faith

wrapped in love

creating eternity

with euphoric swirls

speak volumes

in leaps of silence

curling up wards

in spirals

fetching tales

of truth

 echoed

through time

inspired by ::Mosaic::

This pic tugged at my heart with its realness and packed a punch thanks to its non- fluff element.
I found it tucked amidst other pictures in a blog I follow by the beautiful Akona Ndungane, she is witty and street smart, sassy and stylish whilst speaking her mind in an ever so graceful manner.

This pic goes back to what truth is: unsolicited by euphemisms

I love how pictures speak volumes but I am still unsure of me as the picture blogging type
but alas I have tried even if the pic' was borrowed. We truly live to learn....
Hopefully I will get better at this...

holidays

So it's about that time of the year where everyone is wishing everyone else a happy new year and we are all either taking stock or organising our new year's resolution lists...
Forgive me but I refuse to partake in rituals that having nothing to do with me. Yes, I have had a relaxed festive season, one where I have chosen to be with fewer energies, well actually the ones that matter have made an uber awesome time of this year"s festive season.

What I have learnt is that I have always known that I am not a pack orientated person so I have therefore lost all interest in things that require an "us" element friendship-wise, please note this excludes the when in a relationship aspect. It is so much easier to create your own happiness rather than to be present in the societal norm that leaves your soul debilitated after a season meant for rest.

The greatest surprise is that my bestest friends are happy whether we have spent time together or not this festive season and that is all that matters, that we are doing things that make us happy.

Euphoria is having old family friends walk through your front door without having announced their passing through, this for me makes me feel like i'm a little girl again and life is simple. Those truly were the best of times. I hope one day my kids, nephews and nieces and friends kids will know what I grew up with. May they  too be raised by a village that works in-cohesion.

I have had a lot of pleasant surprises and I thank the universe for all the love.
Lost a few wonderful people this year yet it was all in God's time so we will either shed a tear or pour some liquor on the ground in their memory, may the ones who have left earth be eternally blessed.

Light and love to all who pass through my writing rants, may the new year bring you peace love and happiness, may all things asked from a good space be answered.

Hopefully in the new year this space will grow and keep up with the times.
 To those travelling may travelling mercies be with you.

Dear Universe
Thank you for the lessons, love and light as well as the moments of utter craziness and zen.
signed:
a daughter of the soil
one who is of you
 P.S. may awareness leave me (us), may we forever strive to be in your element at our best.

amagoduka

aah amagoduka nkosi yam.... Bless the universe for the people who've made it home to bless my space.

Ke Dezemba Boss seems to be on everyone's  tongue lately.... Am I wrong for not being of this space? It feels like just another day of the week until I remember that oh, no actually the yr will end and a new one will begin ok, oh, well...

Happiness is not materialistic, it's not partying until the sun comes up even though that is fun sometimes, it's not about crowds nor is it travelling in packs to do stuff deemed fun...
Happiness is being, it's finding comfort in your own skin whether you're alone or in a group.... It's being surrounded by love in it's pureness and simply being aware of self and surroundings.

My Family is awesomeness from the blood relatives to the ones I've acquired through friendships or merely just bumped into in this life. The lessons are plenty.

On lessons I've noted Talib Kweli using the #lessonsfrom2011  and Lee Kasumba #thingsilearnt so we all get a little introspective around this time of the year...

 We have been places and have learnt from eye opening experiences. We are breathing in anticipation for the new year, some of us trying to play safe and not make plans that will change with a hat trick blink of an eye... WE ARE GROWN WHETHER WE LIKE IT OR NOT(as told by the aproaching year)!!!!!!!!


May the New year bring with it even more love and light, Zen filled moments covered in euphoric bliss!!!!
May we all be blessed with good health, wealth as well as spiritual tranquillity in our growth, may our minds be open to enlightenment. May our third eyes be open, may ourselves flourish and grow from seeds to ever lasting trees...


Bless you children of the soil.


a home is not a home without the warmth of those that inhabit it. 
May travelling mercies be with all those travelling throughout the silly season.

In my foolishness I forget I have followers making this space more about just dropping in when I can, really... What a surprise to get a message asking me: "when do we get pics with your blog?" I have toyed with the idea but never really thought of implementing it, so now I'm in debate as to what it will be: a yes or no or perhaps a culmination of both.... Yes No Maybe Oh well...

Dear Universe
I have left it in your hands.
 Regards
The Blogging Non-Blogger


In the hecticness that has been the past weeks I had an interesting conversation with a musician about our various crafts but more specifically what music does to the listener and how it can heal... I take my hat off to those who can relay emotions in a note, carry and build it up only to have it taper off in a candle whisper...

For a while I have not called myself a writer, ok maybe a lot longer than a while but hey... When I sit with musicians, those who can play instruments or those who sing, I find my spirit missing the conversations one has with an audience through their medium of choice for sharing.... Damn that's blessed. There is nothing more beautiful than a crowd taking in what you are giving and being moved beyond words as to where you have been in that moment, we all travel through space and time drinking from the same cup.
 Dear people who art
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for what you do.
Signed
A fan of what you do

Creativity is a wonderful space that the imagination inhabits bringing to life thoughts becoming the realm of possibility...

lessons learnt through listening

State of affairs is rough, this has been one emo' year snap....

There are so many deaths, every weekend there's a burial. Has one thinking where do we stand with God, us who remain behind? What are you doing for those that are around you?

Sometimes even a smile warms away three winter months wrote someone, I can't quite remember but whose words seem to ring truer with my growth each day. Too many friends and fam' have gone this year.

Death aside there have been wonderful moments in this year too....
A friend gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and another got married this past Friday on her birthday(we'll get back to this wedding for it's pearls of wisdom).  Another friend has started her nail business and some friends have found love and are sustaining it so well with God as their third person in their relationships...

We all seem to be growing spiritually and that is so blessed. We're finding that with each day in growing older we become wiser through the lessons experience taught us and will continue to teach us going forward.


Back to to my Girl's Wedding, this is what i picked up:

• The Pastor unpacked what being unfaithful is:

1. You can never look or touch another person other than your spouse and still be unfaithful
2. When you lose faith in your spouse, you become unfaithful
3. How to remain Faithful:

          - Remember to celebrate each others strengths 

           (focus on the good aspects each of you bring to your relationship)

         - Believe that one event does not corrupt a person's character

         - Have faith In GOD
           ( when you come to moments  where there are hurdles and mountain like obstacles that you
             can't handle then leave them with God.)

• #weddingwisdom ( the wisest old woman spoke & it made sense to my yet to be married self):

1.     Don't compete with your husband, men are afraid of competition.     
2. remember Love is not giving a spouse a comfy bed nor is it a plasma TV... 
3. People may say this marriage was made in heaven but remember that it is maintained here on earth
4. Ask your partner what they precisely meant from a statement instead of assuming
5. In your relationship do not listen to people wanting to tell you about your spouse's irregularities. Stop them in their tracks as they begin telling you stories or gossip stompies. 
6.  You and only you will know your husband!

 I grew up at this wedding realising that I had already somewhat come to these conclusions in having dated. If you cannot work through issues whilst you are dating someone and learn from each other's mistakes then i'm afraid marriage will be hard to live through. Be it a relationship or marriage throwing in the towel before you've tried working through issues is a no, no, no for you don't fully learn the lessons that come with each experience.

 Be yourself but remember that in a relationship as much as there is you or him (visa versa) as individuals that there is also a unit called us which encases each of you as one entity and within it the best solutions come from love, trust, faith, commitment, compromise and a willingness to see the union flourish into a beautiful flower or tree one day.

What is it with hell no's and attractions

So last night my girl and I are at this gig in a dodgy-ish tavern-ish / shebeen place where music was on point except for some random american-ish high note pulling stunts from a local chikita... now this girl was singin' old school sophiatown classics in keys that just did not match the songs....

But any-who the main act, could belt a mean ass tune in the tiniest body I've ever seen. Her legs would not make not even one of my very own legs, yeah I said it. Tjo!! Ok mara mosadi o, roko la hae...  ja ne... extremely tiny and dancin' on stage then... oh wait for it: she lifts up the already tiny creeper-upper black number. Another lady sitting with us asked what happened to class? Somebody behind our table said something close to ooh yikes she's showin' us her knickers... did i just see that?

Great night out all that aside the main attraction's voice is uber talent infested, God and the universe and those that came before her in her blood line done blessed her well.

So we decide to have a drink to end our night, first and last for that night.... then some random bloke says hi to a sister, ok i... bathong mona e o starts mackin on some your're beautiful, sister:thank you , ok. Hawu dude then proceeds to tell friend, in the background, she's the one I was telling you about, girl has blank look but greets friend... Next thing dudes are still chattin' so no drinking our drinks in piece damm.... sister to okes ok bye then dude turns aroun' to his scruffy-dirty-artist friend n says ka si zulu  hawu seyang xosha manje... dude turns back to a sister n says I coulda bought you your next drink, manje lomntwana uyang xhomela. No chick chatting to him side kick say ya uyaxhoma vele..... huh?! 

He e man dudes need to go back to school and learn how to mack a sister and dammet NO is NO... N just cause I said hello back to you does not mean I want your sorry ass mack.... Go back to school or go follow some gentlemen on social networking sites and learn etiquette for cryin' out loud.

what we take in

I've seen animals slaughtered under ten times in my life and it has irked me out, I must say... but that said it has not deterred me from my meat eating tendencies.

When I was younger we travelled for something or other to one of our family homes in the EC where live stock was to be slaughtered for feasting... I got to see the final moments of a sheep, suffice to say that, that sound it made upon it's last breath was and still is blood curdling and yet I still ate it's meat when it had been cooked.  It disturbed me to see that.

This year I was invited to a ceremony and before my eyes a chicken was knifed, blood splattering into an enamel bowl placed in the centre of someone's home, part of me couldn't look and part of me could but then again it made me ill to watch this, that was occurring in my presence. It made me uncomfortable but you know what: I still love my chicken!!!!!!!


I love my meat so much so that I could never become a rastafarian, vegan or any other thing that requires me not to eat meat, ok. Once a cousin of mine decided to go see how hamburgers were made, well upon her witnessing it she became vegetarian and wanted us to follow suit to go check it out, I refused.

On an Oprah rerun I watched this guy said: if you don't know how it is made you should not be eating it. Makes sense, yes, no, maybe... Reality is though that not all of us want to know how our meat is slaughtered and veganism is not for everyone but that said I do agree that we should be concerned with how living things die and that it should be stress-less. Healthier eating habits do need to be acquired. I'm finding healthier take away options and more and more greens making it onto my plate when dining out...

One of these days I might just be the salad ordering girl.....

penned

Sometimes I forget what it takes to do this blogging thing and other times I merely tire when I think it has to be done... Sharing your thoughts with the world or even five people to one is a major exercise...
I struggle to breathe my gifts sometimes.


" For Africa to me... is more than a glamorous fact. It is a historical truth. No man can know where he is going 
   unless  he knows exactly  where he has been and exactly how he arrived at his present place. " 
   - Dr Maya Angelou 


Dr Maya Angelou is one of my favourite writers and when I saw this quote it struck a nerve with me. There are so many things going on in the world, wars are being waged and marches staged, death tolls rise daily from various causes and poverty is still undefeated....

What is Africa to me? Who am I?


This question rings true through so many debates I happen to read through on twitter with discussions becoming overly heated as each person perceives their truth in being just. Amazingly though if you had to ask some Africans to participate in their own rituals they would out right refuse any partaking in such....
I don't know if I'm alone in wondering what is so wrong or unjust in the practices of our forefathers...

Yet I seem to wonder what on earth are we preserving as indigenous people of Africa of our heritage?
I am African because my umbilical chord is still attached to the placenta of this continent... I read something or a tweet, can't really remember where I saw this but to paraprhase and take liberties it said: I am African kuba xana ndizithutha ndizi tsala emva imvelaphi yabant aband'zalayo... my history is told in their existence, where they were from to where I am now, that resonated well with me.

I love my continent and I was born at it's southern most tip living at its edge...

Camagu

I would much rather
Speak earth affinity
Than to be political
Whilst people die
Of that which is
Considered taboo
I'd rather live with
The title of miss taboo
Than die ignoring
My existence
And what it was birthed for
Pretending truths don't exist
Doesn't at any given time
Make the truth untruthful
It makes it disappear
Only to reappear
Much stronger
And more vested
In ousting itself
You see truth knocks kindly
@ first
But after being denied
It begins to rudely intercept
That lie(s)
Becoming even more pronounced
With skeletons coming out to play

love letters

hello blog world it's been... hasn't it.
Well when last did you receive a letter, conventional or otherwise? the otherwise being an email or text notes...

Something that does not happen often these days is communicating. I watched The Talk the the other day, SA's a bit behind season wise, anyhow on this day the ladies of The Talk discussed how they communicate with their spouses via email or texting, one of the ladies said they used it as a tool to fight with their hubby, whilst some said they enjoyed the occasional email or text like enjoy your day or how is your day so far...

Yesterday what made my day is that i saw a tweet on one of my all time favourite songs by Mbongeni Ngema, that every black person calls ithambo lam lekentucky which is one of the lines in the song, the actual title being: Stimela sam sase Zola... the tweet was saying that every man should sign off the letter like that...

I listenedd to the song that flooded my early life partly due to the women of my family, Note: this was the time of cassette players and turntables, so my aunts had a cassette with one song recorded on it that song was Mbongeni Ngema's Stimela sam sase Zola...... #beautifulmemories of growing up

That song is such a beautifully articulated vernacular love letter in song....
talks of the woman being his umbrella shielding him from the sunshine... to saying i love you even when you"re spitting fire( ngikthanda nom uvutha baby).... He then says  you touch me and i rise like selfraising flour (wangthinta ndakhukhumala)... the song speaks of resting on her derrière after  a hard day's work (NGIYOPHUMULA KUWE EDAIRY)....

I sat listening to this song realising that it was one of my first ever love songs in vernac that i had heard as a child and just how i enjoyed listening to it playing  non-stop courtesy of the aunts whose favourite song it was at the time. I move to today's time and realise that men don't speak in this currency of value, appreciation is minimal of the women in their lives that said i don't believe all men are like this either.
i used to write letters and i miss that intimate space but more than anything i believe letter writing still has a space in this world of technological comm's....

Take time out and write a love letter to someone, it doesn't have to be romantically inclined but it could come from a place of love and filled with softness and kindness and good thoughts.

lost and found

so the time came when I finally finished the 2nd of five books bought in February of this year, it took me seven months to read Air by Geoff Ryman and not because it was boring but because I just didn't much feel like it... well when I bought these books it was just after working myself too hard on a project that was the most inspiringly fresh and for the most part fun to take on and for once it was in something I believed... empowering kids to tell their story through their gifts. This was a blessing for me and thank you to all who pushed me on that journey for it was awe inspiring to work on....

I bought five books: a biography on American President Barrack Obama, Air, Under The Frangipanni by Mia Couto, a biography on the model Alek Wek and We Are The Ones We Have Been Waiting for by one my favourite authors Alice Walker, which is book number four for me of the five. I read Mia Couto's book in less than five days after reading Air which I loved.

The most intriguing find about the books is that somehow their all about journeying and self discovery, spirituality and belief systems somehow  even though the stories differ... and to think I found a book sale whilst awaiting a friend for some bonding time, you see she was running late. But her being late is one of the greatest gifts she has given me in our friendship as it gave me back one of my favourite things to do in the whole world that I'd forgotten how to do, pretty much like how I have forgotten how to write.

 Writing again is thanks to the memory of my late sister and my late friend sunshine who have believed in my abilities when I have forgotten to believe in them myself as well the numerous people I have in my life who still believe in my writing power...

I guess I am finding my feet again in the things that make me happy whilst embarking on a new journey that will hopefully best yield greater harvests of lessons learned and love lost only to be found and growing with each new rising sun...

smack Bang BOOM

Uhm Ja Nhe... Why we do not go out 101:

Some sights just scream Gall! We were entertained by the sight of two girls dancing on the side of the road by themselves as music played from a car not far from where they were positioned; we thought awesome their just having fun on their own terms.... Until the two young lasses started dancing in the middle of the road in front of the entrance of this local township drinking hole, they were now primarily stopping traffic especially in front of the sexier, sleeker German made model vehicles... to our horror as we watched these two girls clad in weaves and itsy-bitsy skirts in the not so expensive versions of the current fashionista styles, the German made sedan they had gyrated to a halt appeared to have been full of elderly males who seemed perhaps over 40ish, married and highly devoted to his family life and church....

In the haze of this we had stopped there to show someone not from our city the tavern life in the township, the person had just moved to the city...

As our friends arrived to coax us into a night out on the town in the 'burbs, amidst our hellos and joviality... a small green car blazing out music caught our attention and as we turned to look, we soon saw:

a girl in the front seat grind dancing, bumping up and down evocatively whilst looking in the direction of her friends in the back seat who were dancing just as hard. Now by the time the car had approached the front of the drinking hole the girl in the passenger seat's rear clad in an itsy-bitsy skirt was out her window now and gyrating towards the crowd of pub crawlers and then the car halted with the girl opening her door and dancing smack- bang in the middle of the street....

Our jaws dropped to the floor and heads shaking in disbelief at the sight we'd just seen as the shock was settling, the moaning disbelief began....

Wow, how things have changed in night life... Which society are we emulating? I realised how quickly the dynamics of night life had changed with my need not to go out and about and be around town, painting it red. Society has not taken a stand. Where have values gone? Who are we and what will the world be like for our kids if right now in your 20s what you are seeing is the age of girls out at night getting younger and younger with the debauchery getting wilder and wilder, seeing a rise in teen pregnancies and substance abuse... the penny's dropping at lightening speed whilst we still think it's still a million miles from hitting rock bottom fast as it continues to decline and depreciate like wall street stocks on a bad day. We are in a bigger recession, this one is out to kill societal value systems with the words: I'm allowed; you are not the boss of me; I can handle it and the sucker punch: this is how the world is now...

the movement

sometimes all we need is sometimes
where the entirety of our beings
is encased by freedoms
the spirit lives beyond
the binding chains
each seeks their own
claim to self
and sometimes
lose self to find the varied pattern
that is themself
sometimes the sun glistens
long enough
for the earth to give s/outs
as it cracks open
its secrets
sometimes
we are one
separate yet inseparable
yet other times
we remain clueless
in our conscious casings
wrapped in materialisms
forgetting
the essence of living
and when sometimes comes out to play
we fight ourselves to keep
the illusion of wealth
moving
so the mirage becomes our reality
but man....
could we not live in the other times
so sometimes could be our serenity...
wisdom unravels that
you need the other times
to appreciate the sometimes more

twitterverse

upon opening my twitter today I found the most interesting baby names convo started by @Anele...

as I scrolled down her tweets to find where it all began i bumped into her tweet about  how she dreamt of Kenya yet she had never been there before... the replies to this from twitterverse inhabitants were of course vast....

and so @Anele Anele Mdoda  tweeted :

African country names make great children names as well hey, Kenya, Egypt, Zambia, Mali, Ghana ,Libiya * yes I would* Morrocco.

what do we call our children...

we are all looking to name our kids one day. some of the names people tweeted were Mali, Chad for a boy and Ethiopia for a girl... another twiterverse being suggested Sierra-Leone...

I felt a wave of nostalgia with this topic as it keeps recurring... Baby names... baby names have meaning and the name you give to your baby sticks or adds value to their persona... in African culture a child could have their name being one word or their name can be a phrase like mine (the name of this very blog).  

It is important however to look at what things mean before you name your baby because there are a couple of kids who upon finding out what their names in essence mean are quite unhappy. Celebrities took to naming their kids apple and all sorts of things.

 Someone happened to tweet back to Anele about their name being chad and how it came about, they were not quite impressed with being named chad purely because there was unrest in  Chad in the time of their arrival on this earth. I think Chad should consider himself lucky, Black kids named during apartheid well... have names like Amabhuluanyile... really not nice so many years into freedom... spare your kids please... or at least be able to have some sentiment or great story your kids can tell, hopefully one that will be timeless...

lyrical fascination and interpretation #1

Goose-bumped all over my being listening to Thandiswa Mazwai sing about who she is in the short track titled: Bomvana... this song depicts who her people are in essence...

She talks about how as uBomvana you do things as your mom and dad do which in Xhosa reads: Bomvana nenjenje nje ngoyise noyihlo... She talks of how when she moves the earth moves and how her mom told her she can bring it any time... I get this bringing it as being encouraged to have the will to do anything, being a force to be reckoned with in the world. This song is sung in isiXhosa and in English

one of ms Mazwai's songs is titled: Abenguni... in it she further speaks of the people who make her who she is and tells of her people's history and the different groups that make up who her people are. She further talks of not walking alone which puts emphasis on old beliefs that those who have had a people precede them never walk alone in this life. They are always protected by their lineage, their descendants.

She tells a story with distinct rhythm that emulates her soul's belief in unison.

the unthought thought always thought

uhm there's a lot of earth departures currently, so much so that i wonder if there is ever a traffic jam that leads to the wrong turn? #justathought

I find that so many things are taking shape and we are caught in between because the unknown is unexplainable... catch22 perhaps...

what do we know for sure and what is it that we so trust beyond the realm of possibilty? how sure are we that what we think does not exist, does not exist at all...

do the dead speak a lingo that's refused and do they know God's whereabouts/

are there so many questions seeking answers yet the ones we find seem like not the naswer at all, what happens then if we have not heard what God is intending upon our life....

there's a battle that's stood the test of time as to which beliefs stand true, this one never ceases to exist. it's greatest answers are found within.

i wish not to delve into an abyss of nothingness yet once again i think to self that surely what one should seek to do is to live the best life intended by the universe through the various paths we choose to walk... each path has choices assigned to it yet one should always weigh up how it would best affect them, can we live with the repercussions of our actions and into which direction they steer us...

living is the hardest thing for experience is it's teacher....

listen to your inner voice that speaks volumes, gut never lies.