lessons learnt through listening

State of affairs is rough, this has been one emo' year snap....

There are so many deaths, every weekend there's a burial. Has one thinking where do we stand with God, us who remain behind? What are you doing for those that are around you?

Sometimes even a smile warms away three winter months wrote someone, I can't quite remember but whose words seem to ring truer with my growth each day. Too many friends and fam' have gone this year.

Death aside there have been wonderful moments in this year too....
A friend gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and another got married this past Friday on her birthday(we'll get back to this wedding for it's pearls of wisdom).  Another friend has started her nail business and some friends have found love and are sustaining it so well with God as their third person in their relationships...

We all seem to be growing spiritually and that is so blessed. We're finding that with each day in growing older we become wiser through the lessons experience taught us and will continue to teach us going forward.


Back to to my Girl's Wedding, this is what i picked up:

• The Pastor unpacked what being unfaithful is:

1. You can never look or touch another person other than your spouse and still be unfaithful
2. When you lose faith in your spouse, you become unfaithful
3. How to remain Faithful:

          - Remember to celebrate each others strengths 

           (focus on the good aspects each of you bring to your relationship)

         - Believe that one event does not corrupt a person's character

         - Have faith In GOD
           ( when you come to moments  where there are hurdles and mountain like obstacles that you
             can't handle then leave them with God.)

• #weddingwisdom ( the wisest old woman spoke & it made sense to my yet to be married self):

1.     Don't compete with your husband, men are afraid of competition.     
2. remember Love is not giving a spouse a comfy bed nor is it a plasma TV... 
3. People may say this marriage was made in heaven but remember that it is maintained here on earth
4. Ask your partner what they precisely meant from a statement instead of assuming
5. In your relationship do not listen to people wanting to tell you about your spouse's irregularities. Stop them in their tracks as they begin telling you stories or gossip stompies. 
6.  You and only you will know your husband!

 I grew up at this wedding realising that I had already somewhat come to these conclusions in having dated. If you cannot work through issues whilst you are dating someone and learn from each other's mistakes then i'm afraid marriage will be hard to live through. Be it a relationship or marriage throwing in the towel before you've tried working through issues is a no, no, no for you don't fully learn the lessons that come with each experience.

 Be yourself but remember that in a relationship as much as there is you or him (visa versa) as individuals that there is also a unit called us which encases each of you as one entity and within it the best solutions come from love, trust, faith, commitment, compromise and a willingness to see the union flourish into a beautiful flower or tree one day.

What is it with hell no's and attractions

So last night my girl and I are at this gig in a dodgy-ish tavern-ish / shebeen place where music was on point except for some random american-ish high note pulling stunts from a local chikita... now this girl was singin' old school sophiatown classics in keys that just did not match the songs....

But any-who the main act, could belt a mean ass tune in the tiniest body I've ever seen. Her legs would not make not even one of my very own legs, yeah I said it. Tjo!! Ok mara mosadi o, roko la hae...  ja ne... extremely tiny and dancin' on stage then... oh wait for it: she lifts up the already tiny creeper-upper black number. Another lady sitting with us asked what happened to class? Somebody behind our table said something close to ooh yikes she's showin' us her knickers... did i just see that?

Great night out all that aside the main attraction's voice is uber talent infested, God and the universe and those that came before her in her blood line done blessed her well.

So we decide to have a drink to end our night, first and last for that night.... then some random bloke says hi to a sister, ok i... bathong mona e o starts mackin on some your're beautiful, sister:thank you , ok. Hawu dude then proceeds to tell friend, in the background, she's the one I was telling you about, girl has blank look but greets friend... Next thing dudes are still chattin' so no drinking our drinks in piece damm.... sister to okes ok bye then dude turns aroun' to his scruffy-dirty-artist friend n says ka si zulu  hawu seyang xosha manje... dude turns back to a sister n says I coulda bought you your next drink, manje lomntwana uyang xhomela. No chick chatting to him side kick say ya uyaxhoma vele..... huh?! 

He e man dudes need to go back to school and learn how to mack a sister and dammet NO is NO... N just cause I said hello back to you does not mean I want your sorry ass mack.... Go back to school or go follow some gentlemen on social networking sites and learn etiquette for cryin' out loud.

what we take in

I've seen animals slaughtered under ten times in my life and it has irked me out, I must say... but that said it has not deterred me from my meat eating tendencies.

When I was younger we travelled for something or other to one of our family homes in the EC where live stock was to be slaughtered for feasting... I got to see the final moments of a sheep, suffice to say that, that sound it made upon it's last breath was and still is blood curdling and yet I still ate it's meat when it had been cooked.  It disturbed me to see that.

This year I was invited to a ceremony and before my eyes a chicken was knifed, blood splattering into an enamel bowl placed in the centre of someone's home, part of me couldn't look and part of me could but then again it made me ill to watch this, that was occurring in my presence. It made me uncomfortable but you know what: I still love my chicken!!!!!!!


I love my meat so much so that I could never become a rastafarian, vegan or any other thing that requires me not to eat meat, ok. Once a cousin of mine decided to go see how hamburgers were made, well upon her witnessing it she became vegetarian and wanted us to follow suit to go check it out, I refused.

On an Oprah rerun I watched this guy said: if you don't know how it is made you should not be eating it. Makes sense, yes, no, maybe... Reality is though that not all of us want to know how our meat is slaughtered and veganism is not for everyone but that said I do agree that we should be concerned with how living things die and that it should be stress-less. Healthier eating habits do need to be acquired. I'm finding healthier take away options and more and more greens making it onto my plate when dining out...

One of these days I might just be the salad ordering girl.....